create your own peace.

I love pursuing enlightenment. Increasing my conscious awareness. I do this through a lot of reading, meditation and yoga. These practices enhance my understanding. The more I learn, the more I want to apply it to my life. The more I apply it to my life, the more I am called to share it with others. 

I am so deeply involved in my own desire-mapping, goal-planning and life-coaching because I really believe that the only way I can coach someone else through it is if I continue to go through the process. I need to continue to grow through the knowledge and experience of it. 

This afternoon was devoted to that. I completed my homework for my next life-coaching lesson. I re-evaluated my desire-map. I studied other’s teachings and experiences so that they could guide my own. I could have done this anywhere. But, I feel most inspired when I’m surrounded by nature. Today was a gorgeous day. I mean, if you could bottle up a day to keep forever, it would be today. And today’s perfect weather was begging to be experienced. 

So, I packed up my books and journals and headed out to my dock. I sat there and studied to the soundtrack of wind chimes, train whistles, leaves rustling, and a babbling fountain. The breeze was welcome, especially when it sprayed me with mist from the fountain. 

My current journey is a really exciting one. My process of discovery has helped me to create a clear vision for where I want need this path to lead. But this purposeful journey is also action packed. There is always room to push or challenge myself. There’s always a next thing to complete. It’s easy for me to get over-whelmed and feel hurried. 

I’d already allocated this afternoon to personal and professional development but it would have been so mundane to sit inside like I normally would have done. It would have felt so predictable and common and routine [read: boring.] I’m glad I listened to the call of the wild and headed outside. I got into a much clearer, peaceful state by doing so -- and I know that only increased the depth of today’s practice.  

Being present in nature, aware of and grateful for each movement, is so good for the soul. Today was a gentle reminder to find ways to break up the monotony of every day life. To create your own peace wherever you are, whenever you can. It’s within you -- listen to the call to tap into it. 

{Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.

It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.}

A summer love affair.

As I sit down to right this post, the breeze is blowing and I hear the rustle of the leaves and song of the wind chimes. I had to break out the long sleeves to sit on the patio today, the cool, crisp air an announcement that fall is here. 

I love fall. It’s not just the chill of the air and the comfy sweaters. I love the smells of country living in the fall; the changing of the leaves. Bonfires and hayrides. All things pumpkin. It’s just so cozy. 

But where did it come from? When did fall happen? When did summer end?

I was listening this morning to John Mayer’s “Something’s Missing” [because sometimes I just need to hear its lyrics.] One of the lines says, “When autumn comes, it doesn’t ask. It just walks in, where it left you last. You never know when it starts until there’s fog inside the glass around your summer heart.” I absolutely love that. This summer heart of mine..it’s sad today. I’m not ready to say goodbye to my summer romance.

My love affair with this summer began with my trip to California in July. I can’t really put into words how amazing of a visit this was. Quiet moments of solitude — moments to read, write and reflect. My days spent at the beach — my favorite place in the world to be. Morning coffees with my aunt — one of my favorite people in the world to talk to. Catching up with my friends there — strolling through a farmer’s market, having dinner, catching a show, taking a yoga class. Shopping or grabbing coffee. All simple pleasures of life but made into irreplaceable memories because of the company. My rest and relaxation was nicely balanced with having fun. Paddle boarding, boating in the Pacific, sky-diving, the adventures of making new friends. Letting my world intertwine with another’s, knowing that all paths cross for a reason, even if only briefly. It was insanely liberating to trust that and throw caution to the wind. It was an experience that taught me how it feels to follow your heart and do what makes you happy. To do what feels good and to have fun. It’s a lesson I hope to apply to my life moving forward, even though that perfect vacation by the water under the sun has ended. 

In August I was able to fly down to DC for a weekend to visit my original roomie. I flew in Saturday at noon and was gone by 8am Monday. It was the most amount of feel good vibes I’ve ever packed into such a short time span. It was good for the soul. She is one of my very best friends and it felt so good to be reunited. It had been over a year since we’d seen each other. {The best kind of friendships are the ones where you both make an effort to stay in touch over the distance. The kind of friendships where you pick up right where you left off.} We had heart-to-hearts and laughed so hard it hurt. We walked, we shopped, we walked some more. We explored Georgetown, checked out some of the touristy destinations and she showed me some of her favorite spots as a local. I experienced the event that is a DC brunch. [It started at 1pm Sunday and we were still going at 10pm Sunday!] It was such a tease, leaving us both wanting my trip to last longer but it was the perfect weekend refresher. 

And, finally, my weeklong getaway to North Carolina this past week. My mom and I drove down and rented a condo for a little mother-daughter retreat. I was really looking forward to this particular trip not only for time with my mom but also because my entire summer has been very fast-paced. I knew that this week my mom and I wouldn’t have anything to do but walk downstairs to the beach and sit there all day long. We woke up early each morning to catch the sunrise over the water and walk along the beach. I would drink my morning coffee on the balcony watching the surfers do their thing. {mesmerizing} Then we would make our way to the beach and just sun bathe all day. It was pretty hot so a dip in the water was incredibly refreshing. I napped. I read. But mainly I just sat there and listened to the waves crash and watched in awe the beauty of the ocean, trying to clear my head. I got used to starting my day with the sand between my toes, walking in the water. I got used to falling asleep to the sound of the surf.

This was the first summer being my own boss and it proved that the struggles of being an entrepreneur are worth the freedom it provides. When I wasn’t traveling, I had days where I could sit by the pool with friends. I practiced outdoor yoga. I had girl’s weekends. When others weren’t traveling, we got to catch up over happy hours or coffee. It was a summer of working hard, but playing harder.

I’m not ready to let go of summer but autumn is making us break up. So, summer, thank you. Thank you for being the happiest of my life. To quote Walt Whitman: “Summer romances…they’re shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they’re gone.” 

Stay.

I recently stumbled upon a quote that said "It's hard to turn to the next page when you already know your favorite character is going to vanish." It really struck me.

We all know people come into our lives for a reason. We learn something from them, we grow from our experiences with them. They may be here for awhile or quickly go, but either way, we are never the same. Either they will change your life, or you will change theirs. Maybe {hopefully} both. In my life I've met a lot of people who have helped me grow -- personally, spiritually, and professionally. I like to call them guides. Some have imparted wisdom. Some have made a conscious effort to teach me. Some have come and gone not even realizing the lessons they've taught me.

Some of my life lessons have definitely been disguised as struggles but I wouldn't change that. The times of adversity and the times when we experience the most discomfort are the times we change and grow the most. I was praying with a friend recently when she used the phrase "See the beauty in the struggle." I loved that. There is always beauty in the struggle. Even if we don't see it clearly at the time, it will become clear in the end. It is enough that we grew from the challenge and are a better person and in a better place because of it. That's beautiful in and of itself.

But sometimes there's even more beauty to recognize -- the ability we gain to let go of the person that put us in the position to learn that lesson. It is really hard to let go of someone who has been a part of your life. It takes time. It is really hard to accept that maybe they are one of these characters in your life story who has served their purpose and now must go. It feels terrible when that person goes before you've grasped the lesson they were sent here to teach you. But once you get there, to that point of clarity and awareness, it becomes much easier to let them go. Once you've achieved that, it kind of feels like being set free.

The guides in my life that have been positive influences have tended to stay around. I haven't really had to let them go. I keep connected with them because they inspire me, they keep me accountable. We continue to grow and learn together. These guides have consciously helped me. Those who have been my teachers without realizing it, they are the ones that have come and gone. And rightfully so. They've tended to be individuals who wouldn't be conducive to the happy, productive life I want to live. It would have been toxic to have them here for the long-haul. Even still, they are the ones most hard to let go of and say goodbye to. You just don't realize it at the time that they need to go. It's hard to understand while you're going through it. But, they need to leave. Whether you're ready for them to or not. That's the only way you can fully learn what they were sent to teach you.

But what's new for me is this: an excellent, positive, conscious guide that leaves before you're ready to turn the page. I recognize the beauty in this struggle. I recognize that this person came into my life just long enough to light a fire, to fill me to the brim with inspiration, to the point that I have no choice but to do something about it. That is awesome and I'm thankful for that. But I really am sad that they had to go so soon. Why couldn't they be here to see me through? To see the results of the positive way they've changed my life? To see the impact they've made? It doesn't make sense now, but hopefully it will someday. Someday I will understand. I want to move to the next page as this person inspired me to do. But, it's a little bittersweet because turning the page means letting go. I really hate that. I hate saying goodbye to one of my favorite characters. It's like the sad feeling you get when a really good book comes to an end.