Not All Who Wander Are Lost

The last few nights I haven't been able to get my mind to stop racing. I'm mentally and physically exhausted and can't seem to fall asleep. Since being free of my last relationship and leaving a miserable job, my life has been pretty stress-free so it's probably more anxiety than stress...the anticipation of all of the irons I have in the fire lately. I have my yoga and my writing that help keep me focused and grounded but even these therapies and meditations haven't been able to get me to relax at night this week.

So, last night as I was trying to fall asleep, instead of thinking about all of the things going on in my life [worrying about them at 12 o clock at night isn't going to solve anything], I tried to focus on the "Be Here Now" mantra. I reflected on where I am right now in my life and tried to look at what I might be missing when I only focus on where these things are taking me in the future. 

I was with my best girlfriends last night and, as we always do, we went around the table and talked about what's new in our lives. Most of them have things going on. They are actively doing what they need to do to get to the next step or they know what the next step is and they're preparing themselves to take action to get to that point. I can't say that I feel like I'm in the same place. I have long-term goals [that's one of the things I'm working on through my life coaching & life transformation project] and I'm always working on putting the next thing in motion but at the same time, all of these things are going to take their slow, sweet time to come to fruition.

Life is made up of ebbs and flows. It's almost like a hurry up and wait process. Well, I feel like I am in one of the waiting stages. This might be where some of the stress or anxiety is coming from -- I am not the most patient person. I feel the root of every challenge I've faced has been God's way of trying to teach me patience. Living in the moment and not being too eager to get to the next thing before I've enjoyed the present is not something that comes easily to me.

I've written in my blogs before that embracing the moment and "being here now" are practices that I want to master and live by. It's an ongoing process. It's a habit. It's like exercise, you have to constantly do it and work at it. You don't just get to your PR for your pace or your weight and then stop. You have to keep doing it. This mindset of being here now is the same way.

Last night I reminded myself to enjoy the moment. To not feel directionless just because day to day things don't seem to change. In 10 years, I'm going to look back on my life at 29 and smile {and miss it!} because it will probably be the one time where my daily life was made up of doing work I love, for myself & on my own time, hanging out with my friends and taking care of my body. Sure, I have bills and things that I need to check off my life-to-do list in the next 6 months. But even with those responsibilities, it's just me that I have to worry about and take care of. I don't have a household depending on me or a boss to answer to. If I want to write a blog post at 9am, I can. If I want to wake up and work out and not start work till 11am, I can. If I want to break in my day for an hour coffee date with a friend, I can. If I want to be busy every night of the week with different girlfriends, I can. If I want to spend a Saturday night at home, relaxed & comfortable on my couch, I can. I have a pretty great life. One that I love and that I get to spend with people I love. I can't be anxious about getting so quickly to the next thing. Quality versus quantity. I need to enjoy my quality of life and understand that just because it may sometimes seem like I'm wandering and not really getting anywhere, I'm not really lost at all. 

Climbing Your Mountain

I had a great one on one coaching session with Julie, my life coach, today. I was reminded of the importance of "not going it alone." For the past couple of weeks, I've seemed to go through everything in life a little ho-hum, just accepting the status quo, which isn't exciting for me at all. After talking with Julie about changes in my life since our last meeting, she brought fresh perspective to where I am. We talked about how to use where I am now in certain aspects of my life as stepping stones. We talked about how I want to use these stepping stones and where I want them to take me. In reality, all experiences in life are stepping stones and life coaching is there to help us figure out how to use them, I guess I had just lost sight of that for a brief moment. This coaching session was just what I needed today to reenergize. I left feeling very excited and motivated, with a reset focus on purpose, plans and goals.

In life coaching and in her studio, Julie focuses on The 7 Life Miracles. There was one in particular that themed my life this week: Climb -- Conquer your mountains. May was crazy busy for me and I did not stay as committed to my workouts as I prefer to. When June came about, I knew I had to get back into the workout routine. This habit of not working out regularly does not serve me. I need to stick to my routine for me, because working out keeps me healthy and it makes me feel good. For June, I also had some extrinsic motivation as well, including my California vacation coming up next month! [Gotta get bikini ready ;)]

So, this week I hit the ground running, literally. I ran almost every morning. The days I ran, I also lifted and did my ab work. The days I didn't run, I did Pilates or Yoga. Because it had been a month since I had exercised almost every day of the week, this was definitely a challenge.  There were moments when I literally felt like I was climbing a mountain. I had to stay focused on that goal of attaining what was there at the top. I had to encourage myself to push through. Julie taught my Pilates classes and was an amazing leader, keeping me motivated to power through. The rewards are so worth it, though. Feeling your body push itself and attain higher levels of fitness is a great feeling and makes the effort exerted worthwhile.

Julie & I talked in our session today about how it seems as if there a lot of things in the works in my life right now that all could lead to something great. It's like I am right at the cusp, at the turning point. If I put a few more things in motion, or let some things play out, I'll find myself reaching the top of that mountain. It's uplifting to see months and months of work and action finally start to take shape and lead to some of my long-term goals.

We also talked about how we mustn't stop climbing just when we think we've reached the top. For me, I may attain a business or personal goal, but that may only be temporary. Maybe that business success will lead to a future goal. Or maybe my business will face adversity that will propel me into something bigger & better that I otherwise would have never reached for. Maybe a relationship won't last forever. But all of our mountains are there to teach us something, and they are there for us when we need it most in our lives.

Climb. Have fun and enjoy the journey. Have 20 seconds of insane courage and something great will come of it. Risk leads to reward. Reach towards your goal. Conquer your mountain.

One Day at a Time

May was a busy month -- as it always is.

May starts off with my birthday :) Then, spring turns into summer and suddenly it's a race to get to this event, or that patio happy hour. Business picks up as people get a refreshed energy boost...all wonderful, amazing happenings that just seem to sneak up on me every year. Before I know it, May is over and I have a month full of amazing memories to carry with me.

My birthday this year came with a lot of pressure -- it's my last year in my twenties! I feel as if I have to go out with a bang and squeeze every last drop out of 29! I want 29 to just be FUN!

I decided to take the risk in committing to the dating game. That never seemed fun to me before, and doesn't really coincide with my plan to wait for some Heaven-sent guy to cross my path. But, I decided to give myself the summer to put myself out there and be more willing and open to meet different guys. This doesn't quite come naturally to me. I was never a serial dater in the past. I've had one serious relationship. If I don't feel an instant connection or if I can't see you in my future, I check out. I view it as a waste of time. I don't typically date to date, I date for a long-term purpose or goal. So this new concept has been hard for me.

I was a little concerned that I was biting off more than I could chew. I'm someone who values my time, especially my downtime. I can't run myself too thin going from one thing to the next constantly. There's an anxiety that comes with adding dates to my calendar, on top of client meetings, workouts and happy hours with girlfriends. I'm a month in and I've met a lot of wonderful guys although, to be honest, it is a bit draining. It's fun and a great way to meet nice people. But the waiting game of seeing where it goes or even knowing where I want it to go is the hard and exhausting part for me.

Even if I don't find my person that carries me off into the sunset to live happily ever after, I am at least hoping for great stories to share here on The Single Girl Project. But, I'm determined to just persevere and take it one day at a time. Summertime is meant to be busy and, most importantly, fun! Here's hoping!