Over When It's Over

Tonight I was driving home, reflecting on 2013 and thinking about how ready I am for 2014:

I remember the beginning of 2013, the ups and the downs, the stress and the laughter, the new things and the exciting things, the love and happiness, the tears and insecurities.

I remember the middle of the year when it felt like my world was falling apart. When I lost something I never thought I'd lose and when I felt so hurt and disappointed, so wounded and sad.

I remember the fall when I bounced back, stronger than ever before. A new found freedom, confidence and courage. The finding of myself again and the creation of my vision for my new life.

I remember this winter, which started by me quitting a job where I was under-appreciated and starting my own business. Now I'm kind of in my own little bubble, with no one to answer to but myself, completely able to ebb & flow with life.

2013 was not what I expected it to be. There are those moments in life that are defining moments. Previously I had written about how living in California would forever be a defining chapter of my life. Well, 2013 gave me the 2nd defining chapter of my life. I look back on how much it changed, from one season to the next, from beginning to end, and I can't believe it. I never in a million years expected the year that started off so beautifully a year ago tomorrow to bring me what it has. 2013 has been my capstone course in my education of life. And I have a feeling that it is only the beginning.

And so, while I am thankful for the lessons and hard work of 2013, I am so ready for a fresh new start with 2014. Technically, you can create a clean slate at any moment but this January 1 will be a true, new beginning for me. 2014 will not be tainted with the heaviness of these past 6 months. It ends here. It stops today. I will be fearless. And I will say goodbye and close this chapter of my life.

When I turned on my road tonight, a song came on the radio. "Over when it's over" by Eric Church. Tears welled up in my eyes. This song has meaning for me. At the beginning of 2013, my ex and I would play this song and laugh the entire time because I could NEVER get the words right. Ever. I completely made them up. (I'm not good with the words to any song, but this one especially). It was a happy song for me because of that. Then, around the time of our break-up, this song became a sad song for me (I mean, listen to the lyrics - it is for a sure a break-up song). And then, now, today, as 2013 draws to a close, this song comes on -- seemingly as a way to commemorate my thoughts that this is over. It's done, the baggage is let go.

2014 has no room for what 2013 leaves behind. I'm taking my lessons and graduating to bigger & better things. I am starting 2014 off alone and I'm going to be so protective of what I let in. I will make no predictions as to what the year will hold for me {because, as I learned, it never goes according to your plan} All I know for 2014 is that I resolve to be happy, and to be fearless. One day at a time. I will make 2014 mine, and I will make it great, whatever it may bring.